notevensorey | IC Inbox

[Oh. This is a surprise. Sorey's not in the middle of doing anything important, so he puts all that down to have this conversation with Mikleo.]

What's up, Wisteria?

This may be a personal question, but bear with me.

'Sorey' isn't a very common name. Was it from your old life?

After I began to remember my past life, 'Mikleo' felt more like my name than the one my family used. But I understand if your situation is different.

[Interesting. Mikleo recognizes the name 'Sorey,' so that may mean that their past lives lived in the same world. Though, he doesn't recognize the other name.]

It was. My situation is nowhere near what it's like for yours, though.

My birth name is Slade Shepard. However, people kept hearing or spelling it as 'slate,' and I had enough of that nonsense. So I legally changed my name to Sorey. At least them mistaking it for being pronounced as 'sorry' would be funnier than being compared to a rock.

[He has such an ordinary reason to change his name that it's... adorable, but he shoves that thought aside.]

I don't blame you. I wouldn't consider most Japanese names difficult to say, but I shudder to think about someone mispronouncing mine.

[Time to dig deep.]

I asked because... In my memories of my old life, I traveled the world with someone. His face has always eluded me, as if there's a bright light behind him.

But I know his name. It was Sorey.

My good man, if you think that would be bad with Americans, it's even worse over in England, believe it or not. It's quite embarrassing.

[Sorey bites his lip, debating how much to say. A small part of him wonders if it might all be coincidence, and he's going to get Mikleo's hopes up or, worse, lead him on. Yet... He wants to stay honest with him. Plus, Mikleo looks so strikingly like....]

I don't remember a name. However, I recall a boy who was always with me in my past life, and even saved my life when we fell from a great height. I remember feelings, but, most of all, what he looks like despite having no name.

It shocked me to see you because you look almost exactly like him. A little more world-weary, a little more sad, but your smiles are still the same.

[He might smack someone if they called him Yucky.

He reads over the response a few times. No name, but the appearance... no appearance, but a name... It's as if they were set up to fail, or perhaps complement each other...?

His heart is in his throat. He doesn't dare get his hopes up, and yet... he wants to, so badly. That description-- it's a good thing Sorey can't see him right now because Mikleo wants to scream and cry at the same time. How can Rosewood say such things so casually?!

There's something only the Sorey in his dreams would know.]

... Think really hard about this next one.

Maybe you don't remember his name, but that doesn't mean you don't know him. Maybe he had a second name, a secret name. Do you remember anything like that?

[Sorey can understand that this is extremely important to the both of them. He needs to try to remember, and to be honest with Mikleo.

A second name, something secret... A true name, perhaps? That rings familiar in his mind, and the shard of a memory comes to mind. Two words whispered in his ear like a secret to be kept only between them. A secret to engrave on his heart and take it to his grave.

But he doesn't remember what it is. It slips out of his hand like water, making him feel a lot lonelier than before. Sorey takes a moment to compose himself enough to text back a response.]

He has a true name. I remember him telling it to me, but trying to remember what it is escapes me.

I'm sorry, I really wish I could tell you more definitively.

[He can't remember.

Mikleo feels like the odd one out here. He has... so many memories. Some things are hazy, but the feelings, the words they shared, the way the sky pressed down on them as they darted across the plains, he remembers it all. He remembers the stars, and the boy in his memories who never complained about shouldering a single burden remarking on how beautiful they were.

For all his life he's felt like he had something missing.]

"I'll tell you if I remember."

[Who's the one conveniently forgetting things now?]

Sorry, you just reminded me of something.

Anyway, don't feel bad about not being able to recall. Perhaps some things are best left in the past. You're not the same person you were in your past life, and neither am I.

[Seeing those words spark familiarity in his mind, but it feels clouded by darkness. Maybe if he hears it said instead--but no. Sorey can already tell that, for some reason, the last thing he wants to do is prolong any of Mikleo's pain. If that's what the young man is feeling right now.

The brunet doesn't want to leave it there, though. Not on that note. He has to read and reread what he's written to make sure the words are right before he hits send.]

My first memory was triggered when I fell off the side of a castle. I remembered something similar happening to me in my past life, and I wasn't alone when I fell. A boy my age was with me. He used his magic to save our lives, and then he teased me a bit. When I woke up, I was in the hospital with multiple broken bones. I still have metal in my left arm, though, so sometimes it hurts when the weather gets cold or rainy.

I had to go to therapy. Not just physical therapy, either. Ever since that day, I was so terrified of heights that I would sometimes have panic attacks if there were too many stairs I had to climb. It was hard, working through all of that, but then I remembered the boy with water magic. I thought to myself, "Slade, you need to keep trying. I bet he never gave up on you back then, and if he's real, then you need to keep going so you can thank him for everything he did for you back then."

I kept thinking that at University, too, when my exams were really getting to me. I had to hope that we'd find each other somehow. Even if we didn't have the same friendship as back then, I still wanted to make sure I met him at least once.

So, thank you, Mikleo. Thank you for saving me back then. You were really, really important to my past life, I remember that, and so I want to thank you for everything you've done for me back then. Maybe we're not who we were, and that's okay with me. I've accepted that even if we met again, it'd be different, but I'd still like to get to know who you are now and see if we can't at least be friends again.

[Mikleo was fine just not... pushing or anything, but then he gets a bit of Sorey's backstory, and he can't help feeling awful about it. Clearly he's caught on. That was just one thing he remembered; Sorey's mind was as quick as Mikleo's own, even if his kindness and unassuming manner gave a different impression. Sometimes Sorey took a different path but he'd come back with his own answer. The right answer.

But, reading all of this, it's sincere and it makes Mikleo ache in a way he isn't expecting. He covers his mouth and tries not to make too much noise, because Jun might hear something on the other side of the wall they share and get concerned.]

I never said anything about not wanting to get to know you.

[Honestly...]

There's still a possibility that we're mistaken. Maybe we're confusing each other for other people. But in the off chance that we're right, I need you to know something.

In that other world, Mikleo was fine waiting for as long as it took. If that meant twenty years, forty years, eighty years... three hundred... It didn't faze him. He always believed that they would meet again, and carried that promise in his heart.

[He's glad for text because he sure as hell cannot speak right now.]

When people are reborn as seraphim, they don't usually remember anything from their previous lives. Their personality and the things they like and dislike can carry over, but the rest is a clean slate.

[haha see what he did there]

So not only was Mikleo prepared to wait, but he was prepared to be forgotten. It was a small price to pay to have his best friend back—to see him safe, and happy, and able to live in the world he helped save.

It's never been about the memories. It's about your happiness, and realizing your dream.

[Damn, Mikleo.... Sorey does feel a part of him relax. Like there's been a constant worry in the back of his mind about something he's clearly forgotten.]

Well, this world may not have been what they had in mind, but I'll bet they would've been equally confident that they'd find each other in this life, too.

I don't mind if you call me Slade, Sorey, or Rosewood. Because, no matter what, I'll be in your corner supporting you!

[How can he respond so cheerily when Mikleo is sitting here in the dark with tears streaming down his face? God, this is so embarrassing.

He doesn't want to tell Rosewood that he wants to run over there and see him right now, or that if they held hands he'd know, without a doubt, if Sorey had been reborn into the sweet psychologist he'd met. Even if he got up the courage to ask Jun, he isn't sure he could. He's a hot mess right now.]

That's my line. If you're going around supporting other people, who's going to support you when your arms get tired?

[Because it's Sorey. He'll most likely cry when it's really confirmed and where Mikleo can see him.]

Then it's a good thing we're supporting each other, right?

[They absolutely, positively need to see each other again. He's going to go mad thinking about it until it happens. Jun was right, he really does have it bad. But this is like, life and death now.]

I suppose so.

... It's only fair that you can call me whatever you like, too. I think you've earned that much.

[... but he'll be eagerly waiting for the day Sorey calls him by his true name once again.]

[Sorey also wants to see Mikleo again, but he's going to be more patient. From what Mikleo said, he's waited even longer than Sorey has. It's only fair to show him that the brunet can be just as willing to wait for him.]

Then, if you don't mind if I call you 'Mikleo,' I can do that from now on.

[It feels more right than Wisteria, but that's a selfish part of him thinking that, surely.]

I don't mind.

[Jun is going to know something Happened but he'll explain then. Right now he just... wants to hold onto this. For himself.]

Perhaps one day I'll let you in on the nickname I had growing up.

[Sorey can't help smiling down warmly at his phone. He doesn't even realize he's doing it, honestly.]

I'll look forward to that day!

Good night, Mikleo. I hope tomorrow's a good day for you.

Sweet dreams, Sorey. I'll see you later.

[It felt so weird to be thanked for something his past life did. If Sorey really is the boy he traveled with, he wants to make sure that Mikleo's help is an unspoken thing between them... He wants to make sure that Sorey can count on him, every time.

After all, he made a promise.]

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